Category: Blog Posts by Vie Portland

Dec 24, 2022

On my Facebook memories today (24th December 2022), on my VieNess Discover You Love You CIC page, there was a post from nine years ago; it said: Merry Christmas Everyone. Thank you so much for liking my page and for joining me at the start of this journey. Xx (I always put kisses; I occasionally worry that it’s not professional and then I think that it’s who I am and what I do, so I carry on.)

Nine years! I sometimes forget how long I have been doing all that I do.

Nine years ago, my business was just called “VieNess”, and I was teaching burlesque and vintage dance forms, as so many people had seen me dance and perform, then asked me to teach them. I had no long term plans but, after years of not being able to work due to health issues, I was just glad to be doing something.

The classes were so much fun! We laughed a lot! What I really loved was seeing women come into the classes, especially the burlesque workshops, with them saying, “I don’t know why I’m here”, “I can’t do this”, “I can never be sexy”, “I can’t dance”, then leaving with their heads high and a wiggle in their step. The next day, I would often get messages saying, “I walked the kids to school with my head up today and lots of people smiled at me; it felt really good.”

After a couple of years, people started saying that they wanted to feel the way the women that came to my classes did, but they didn’t want to dance, and they definitely didn’t want to take any clothes off (usually, in my workshops, the only clothes taken off were ones I had asked them to put on over the clothes they were already wearing. Anyway…), but could I teach them how to feel that good, too? The body confidence workshops were born!

Also on my memories today, a post from six years ago: I have recently become a Body Image Movement Global Ambassador 😍. It’s an incredible group, and one where we all celebrate body diversity and positivity. I’m very pleased 🙂. xx

I began showing the film, Embrace, created by Taryn Brumfitt, the woman behind the Body Image Movement, and having Q & A discussions after. The conversations were fantastic! And so helpful for everyone to see how many things we can feel alone in are actually shared concerns.

A few months on, I started voluntarily running a branch of the brilliant Red Box Project; it was a great organisation that aimed to eradicate period poverty in schools. People were very generous with their donations, and regularly gave period products, pants and toiletries, for me to take into schools in my area. I would take the products in big red boxes (the clue was in the name 😉); the teaching staff would ask what I did outside of the project and I would say about the confidence workshops. “We really need that in our school”, they would say.

I knew how much many schools were struggling financially, so I started to investigate how I could teach in schools without them worrying about the money, if they couldn’t afford it. I eventually found out about Community Interest Companies; social enterprises that could run in a similar way to charities, being eligible for some grants, able to take donations, and have people fundraise for them.

A little while on, I found out about the School for Social Entrepreneurs, linked to Action Hampshire; they offer courses, with great support from Lloyds Bank, to people who want to set up social enterprises. After a stressful time of applications and interviews, I got offered a place! In September 2018, I started the course, with 19 other entrepreneurs, all of us excited, and probably a little bit scared, to be starting towards creating our own projects. It was a fantastic course and I learned so much.

In June 2019, the CIC was born. I was just going to continue as VieNess CIC but, in Companies House, there was already a Vieness, a property developer, I think, so I needed to add more to the name; Facebook friends suggested Discover You Love You as they were already on my logo.

I started networking a lot; I went to meetings at the local council; I contacted schools. I organised a few small scale events to raise awareness and funds, and started organising a big event for March 8th 2020, International Women’s Day. Things were getting exciting!

Well, I think we all know what else happened in March 2020. The event wasn’t as big as I wanted, as people were, understandably, scared to venture out, but it was still wonderful. Anyway, we all knew that this new virus wasn’t going to be around long, didn’t we?

Oh but it was. And it had a huge impact on so many of us.

The CIC was not exempt from this.

Bookings were cancelled and schools were not having any external facilitators in. The only way the CIC could survive was by diversifying.

Thankfully, just before the first lockdown, I had met the brilliant Dr. Jennifer Jones (I am fairly sure that is her superhero alias), and she had suggested I wrote a book to establish my expertise. I was a bit slow to start the book she suggested, but I did start writing decks of cards and a children’s book that had been in my head for years.

2021 brought the March release of Where Are We Going?, then the December release of Who Am I?, the second children’s book, and La Vie Est Belle. Learning to live hopefully ever after, the book Jennifer suggested I write. These all got published with huge thanks to the wonderful people who supported the crowdfunding campaigns.

My profile has been raised, fantastically helped by being mentioned in national and global articles (I shall put the links at the end), but those articles don’t pay.

In honesty, I have been hanging on by the skin of my teeth (where does that saying come from?!). Regular donations have dropped off; fundraising has almost been impossible; grants are getting harder to qualify for and be approved for; and I feel I am starting again with contacting schools.

I am still paying myself the nominal fee I started with in June 2019, which equates to me paying myself just over £1 an hour. That’s not sustainable, sadly.

As we approach 2023, decisions need to be made.

I can say, with every ounce of me, that I completely LOVE what I do. I know I make a difference, and I know I can continue to do so. I want to have the options for schools and groups to pay on a sliding scale, because I know they are struggling even more financially than they were in June 2019, and I know my work is needed much more than ever before.

And I know that others believe all of this, too. Pretty much every day someone tells me how much my work is needed, someone tells me how brilliant I am. That’s truly lovely, and I appreciate every compliment. However, those wonderful compliments do not pay my rent or bills.

I would love to continue to do what I do, and I am fairly sure that there are lots of you that would like me to continue what I do, too, so, can you help? Could you make a regular or one off donation to fundraising@vieness.co.uk (or the bank account)? Or perhaps put on a fundraising event to raise funds for the CIC? Maybe you could suggest to your workplace that I come in and run a workshop for the staff on workplace wellbeing? Or, if you belong to an organisation that has guest speakers, perhaps you could encourage them to book me for a slot? Being paid for workshops and talks enables me to run the subsidised workshops for those who can’t afford them; it would be awful for them to miss out because I could only afford to charge full price, which is my other option.

Can you help? It would be incredibly wonderful if you can help support the CIC to run. It would be fantastic to be able to say to the children and young people I work with that there are beautifully kind people in the community who want them to live happier, kinder, more confident lives. Can you help make that happen?

As always, thank you for reading these blogs, and thank you for your support.

Wishing you a wonderful festive period, and a 2023 full of love and kindness.

Vie

xx

Here is a link to the brilliant Dr. Jennifer Jones’ website; I highly recommend her if you would like to write a book https://ewc.coach/

Here’s a link to Action Hampshire and the School for Social Entrepreneurs: https://www.the-sse.org/schools/hampshire/

Here are the recent articles that I have appeared in. https://uk.style.yahoo.com/forget-resolutions-microlutions-bitesize-intentions-135731613.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly9sLmZhY2Vib29rLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAEmUwP8dL_YAOaflX8YP1yL6ZB2-RZeVH_l3Pkm9dy4dEc49CYjWaIIgMrbx6acuz-gC6rcgW2ewniUGIkHwUr7Q3puWRKhnt1rPmC-wbvOzUy8RgV_MkIjXWWzxEZHL4909CVmtwXx8oBFQKI1Wym0pEGfxz6clpEo-C3xyemyq

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/dec/03/homemade-christmas-gifts?fbclid=IwAR2bTYOcdmbqTE_ojGoq-dsGmi1HEkFLqw8KsNvbZLfE-sjy8769mH9pVks

Experts Share Their Top Tips for Beating Seasonal Stress (incrediwear.com)

#LloydsBank #SchoolForSocialEntrepreneurs #SSE #ActionHampshire #SocialEnterprise #SocEnt #Community #Confidence #SelfEsteem #TheGuardian #Yahoo #IncrediWear #BodyImageMovement #BIMGA #Embrace #CommunitySupport #Donate #Support #Kindness #Hope

Nov 12, 2022

On November 13th it is World Kindness Day. Personally, I feel every day should have many moments of kindness in, but, in reality, life gets in the way and we sometimes forget how little gestures can mean so much, both as giver and receiver.

I could give you the evidence of why it’s important to be kind but I am sure that you know it feels great, and isn’t that a good enough reason? Another great reason is that, often, one act of kindness can have a ripple effect, reaching far beyond where it started! That’s incredible!

I thought I would give you a list of ideas; I would love to hear how these go, and of any others you do.

Acts of kindness

1.     Phone a friend.
2.     Smile at a stranger.
3.     Pay a compliment to a stranger.
4.     Make a tea/coffee for someone.
5.     Buy a drink for a stranger.
6.     Make/buy a cake and give it to a neighbour.
7.     Offer to take a friend’s dog for a walk.
8.     Pay everyone you spend time with a compliment.
9.     Buy a Greggs voucher for a homeless person.
10. Give someone you love a hug.
11. Read a child’s favourite story to them.
12. Ask someone to dance.
13. Make someone a meal.
14. Listen to someone talk about their favourite subject.
15. Go for a walk with a friend.
16. Ask someone how they feel and listen to the answer.
17. Share a friend’s business.
18. Raise some money for a local cause.
19. Open a door for a stranger.
20. Say thank you to a colleague that may feel unnoticed.
21. Share a cause that’s important to you on social media and say why.
22. Offer to share a skill.
23. Give someone a reason to smile.
24. Plan a day out with a loved one.
25. Make/buy a just because gift for someone.
26. Buy a gift for a child in care.
27. Write a card or letter to someone, telling them why you think they’re brilliant.
28. Tell yourself that you’re a wonderful human.
29. Learn about someone who is different to you.
30. Look on Amnesty International and sign their petitions.
31. Play a game with people you care about.
32. Pick something beautiful, give it to someone and say it reminded you of them.
33. Sit with a homeless person and have a chat.
34. Book tickets for a local event; if you can’t go, gift them to someone.
35. Clear out a food cupboard and donate a few bits to your local food bank.
36. Go through a wardrobe and donate what you don’t wear to a local charity shop.
37. Give some old towels or duvet covers to an animal shelter.
38. Buy a cheap bunch of flowers and hand a flower to people you pass, or the people in the shop you bought them from.
39. Do a potter around where you live and pick up bits of litter.
40. Donate a gift for a local raffle.
41. Offer your seat on public transport.
42. Write a love poem for someone.
43. Write a love poem to yourself.
44. Leave a review for your favourite local businesses.
45. Give your postie a bar of chocolate.
46. Make up a memory book for someone you love; write down favourite memories of them, what you appreciate about them, and put in photos.
47. Offer to babysit for a friend.
48. Send an “I appreciate you because…” text to friends.
49. Offer to volunteer at a local community event.
50. Share a happy song that always makes you think of someone special with them.

Now, because you’ll have done one or more of these acts of kindness, put your arms in the air and say loudly, “I am wonderful!” Because you are! 

Now, a large part of my work is about kindness; I listen to people; help them feel seen; show them how great they are; and encourage them to do all of that for others. With an anticipated 4,000 social enterprises expected to close this winter, due to rising costs and less support, if you would like one of your acts of kindness to support the work I do, with children, young people, and vulnerable women, it would be very much appreciated! You can buy my books, courses and resources for yourself, or as acts of kindness for others, at https://www.vipempowerment.co.uk/Shop-1/

Or, if you don’t have money to spare, please leave a review for something you have benefited from that I provide, or share my website with others. Thank you!

And thank you for making the world a kinder place 🥰.

Love,

Vie

Xx

#WorldKindnessDay #KindnessMatters #BeKind #RandomActsOfKindness #SupportLocal #ShowYouCare #BeAFriend #BeTheChange #Community #CommunitySupport #Volunteer

Nov 6, 2022

Many of us are struggling financially right now, and many of us are concerned about the waste we create, so I thought I would write a short blog with some ideas of gifts you can give at minimal cost.

The first thing is Christmas cards. I really LOVE cards! Birthday cards, just because cards, you are wonderful cards. But, as much as I love the prettiness of Christmas cards, and the humorous ones, I stopped sending them years ago.

One of the things I love about cards is that they are personal; the card was chosen for me, with a little note; but, at Christmas, because everyone felt they had to write so many, there was little to nothing beyond, To Vie, Love Me. I didn’t like feeling like I was adding to someone’s already overbrimming to-do list. I also realised that I was sending over 100 cards at Christmas, which cost a lot in time, money and trees! And there was rarely time to write a personal note.

So, a few years ago, I decided I wouldn’t send them anymore. I was concerned about people being annoyed, but, when I said I was going to donate the money to charity instead, which meant I was doing something good in far less time, they were happy. Now, I buy Greggs gift vouchers and give them to homeless people. What’s especially lovely is that others on my social media feeds now do similar. And, as someone who runs a community project, we REALLY appreciate any donations.

********

Many of us are fortunate enough to have too much but, sadly, this year, many of us are struggling financially, and Christmas feels extra stressful, so I thought I would share some ideas that I hope will help.

First, lots of us like decorations but it can be expensive to buy new. Now, I am someone who loves to do crafts in theory but, in reality, I have glued my fingers to each other, and I’ve even managed to sew myself to myself. I’m not a natural! But I saw this on YouTube and I thought it looked fun to make; and the main “ingredient” is the inner tube of toilet rolls! It’s also a great activity to do with children.

https://youtu.be/ANp4J_ZZtKI

And there’s always paper snowflakes. Instead of using new paper, you could use stuff from the recycling bin. All the possible colours available in there!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ua_tS8Zmv8

And now a few ideas for gifts.

I am going to share a few things I do with my clients and that I have done for friends. And they can nearly all be created with things from around your home, with possible top ups from your local pound shop. They’re also great things for children to make for relatives and their friends. It’s great to share the activities with children, as it’s an ideal opportunity to just chat, as well as having an activity to entertain on these colder days.

As a large part of what I do is about showing people how brilliant they are, these gifts are all about showing the recipient that you think they are wonderful!

Lots of us use sauces or jams that come in jars; give them a good wash as these are ideas to use them.

First idea, make a wishes jar. Clean a jar and lid then fill it with these things or with ideas of your own: a coin, a plaster, a wrapped sweet or other food item, a tissue, two pieces of paper. On one piece of paper write words to this effect:

A coin because I wish you always have enough to buy what you need;

A plaster because I wish you healing from all hurts;

A wrapped sweet because I wish for you to never go hungry;

A tissue because I wish you will always have someone to dry your tears;

And, on the other piece of paper, write a note about why you appreciate them, under, a note saying because I always wish you love.

Put the lid on and, if you have it, wrap a piece of ribbon around the lid to make it a little prettier. You could even put a bit of glitter in the jar to add a bit of sparkle, if you have it.

The second gift idea for a jar is a notes of love jar. Gather together lots of little pieces of paper; on each piece, write a short note about why you love/appreciate the gift receiver (you can do this over several days, as, even when you love someone, under pressure, it can be hard to think of lots of reasons why). On the outside of the jar, stick a piece of paper that says, “Reminders of why you’re loved”, or something similar. Again, add a ribbon and glitter if you want to. The recipient can then open the jar and take out a note whenever they feel they need to.

Another gift idea is a memories jar. This is an especially lovely gift for a child to give parents and grandparents. Write lots of notes of favourite memories shared. This is a beautiful way to show that moments matter more than things.

Another beautiful gift from a child to a relative is a framed photo; now, you could print off a photo and buy a frame; or you could do my next suggestion. The child could draw a picture of them with the relative, perhaps doing the most favourite thing they love to do with them, or their best memory with them, or all the things they love about them. Then you can both make a frame out of cardboard (it could be a cereal box, or a tissue box; any kind of cardboard) and decorate it. Here’s a how to for a photo frame: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZfKPpucr5w

And here’s another, as I tend to mix and match to what suits me:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xG54jgqesn0

One thing that most of us feel we don’t have enough of is time, so these next ideas will help with that. First, radical suggestion: ask them for what they need! Then, if you can, give them vouchers for what they need. Here are some suggestions:

• Babysitting for one night (or a weekend, if you are especially kind!);
• Cook them a meal.
• Do some cleaning – you can suggest a time limit or specify what you are going to clean, like the oven, or defrosting the fridge/freezer.
• Do some gardening – again, you can say for two, or so many, hours, or to do something specific, like all of the weeding.
• Offer to do a car boot sale and sell some of their stuff;
• Walk their dog, or offer to pet sit;
• Pamper them! Give them a mani/pedi or a shoulder massage.

If you have your own business, and you have friends that do, too, swap skills! You could swap two hours of marketing for two hours of accountancy, or graphic design for PR. And, if you work in the health or wellness industry, you could offer a massage or reflexology treatment in a swap for whatever your friend does. Please don’t think people will think you are cheap; as a business owner, who talks to lots of other business owners, I can assure you that there are lots of us that would love to do this!

Please do add your own ideas in the comments! I know they will be really helpful.

It can be hard to tell people you’re doing something different but always remember that how people respond is entirely due to them and not you; if you tell someone that you need to do Christmas on a budget and they don’t like it, or don’t understand, that’s their issue; if you tell someone that you want to have a more environmentally friendly Christmas, using the whole reduce, re-use, recycle ethos, and they disagree, maybe reduce them off your Christmas list.

I really hope these ideas have helped, or at least given you ideas of things to do. If you do any of them, please share photos with me; I would really love to see them! And I would love to see the responses of the people you gift them to.

Christmas shouldn’t be about stress; it shouldn’t be about proving someone’s worth in monetary value. True Christmas spirit is in love and kindness; I wish you lots of that.

#ChristmasOnABudget #BudgetGifts #ChristmasGifts #GiftsToMakeAtHome #BeMoreEco #ReduceReuseRecycle #SkillsSwap #KindnessMatters #MomentsNotMoney #GiftsForRelatives #GiftsForFriends #ChristmasSpirit #Regifting #ChristmasLove #ChristmasIsComing #HandmadeGifts

Oct 1, 2022

I do love my work. I share joyful parts of my days with children and young people but I rarely share the stories of my women clients. It’s quite easy to be vague about who the children are, which school or group they’re at; with women, if I share something on my page, there’s a chance that they could be identified, as they are likely to be on my social media.

A Lovely Woman I have recently worked with has given me permission to share her story; I am so pleased!

I run a Facebook group for people in the UK who live with one of my disabilities; it’s a lovely group full of wonderful people.

The Lovely Woman in this story joined the group earlier this year and we met at a conference back in May; we had some great chats.

In the summer, she put a post in the group asking if people with our condition often found it difficult to remove (language is important; I talk about this in La Vie Est Belle) weight; I offered to listen if she wanted to talk about why she was unhappy in her body.

We arranged a two hour session.

During the session, we talked about her history, the things she had been told, what she believed, how those beliefs affected her. Then we challenged them. There were tears, there were smiles, and there were lots of deep conversations.

And there was transformation. It was wonderful to see!

A few weeks ago, I said in the group that we met in that I was going up to the hospital in London that’s my closest specialist centre to have some treatment. The Lovely Woman said it would be great to meet for lunch and go to the shop, Vivien of Holloway, where I buy most of my clothes. I happily agreed! Being encouraged to go shopping there is hardly a chore!

She met me at the hospital and we made our way to Holloway Road. We had a delicious lunch, more chats, then made our way to the shop.

On the way, I explained that the clothes are vintage sizing so it was highly likely that she would be a size or two bigger; other women have rejected the idea of the clothes, as they were so concerned about what the number on the label said; the Lovely Woman was not at all concerned. I was very pleased!

We walked in and, as with all newcomers to the shop, she was asked if she wanted to be measured, again, another difficult obstacle for many, so she knew what size to try; the Lovely Woman was happy to be measured. Excellent!

We started gathering clothes to try on. The Lovely Woman picked up lots of dresses and skirts and we started our trying on session.

She had picked up a few red dresses to try. Initially, I thought it was just because she liked red. However, when she came out of her changing cubicle, she told the two lovely ladies working there how she felt about red dresses.

The Lovely Woman said that she had wanted a red dress for a very long time, but she had believed that she could only wear a red dress when she became slim. She had tried so many diets; she had skipped regular meals; she exercised as frequently as her body would allow; but her body retained the weight. The Lovely Woman had berated herself regularly. She had been unhappy.

But, she said, then she had her session with me!

She said that talking with me had helped her see that she is wonderful just as she is, right now. She had realised that she could wear whatever she wants, that she didn’t have to live a life restricted by limiting beliefs. She now appreciated that she had every right to live a life as full and happy as she wanted.

And, there she was, trying on red dresses! Looking beautiful in them all!

It was wonderful to see her so joyful, so vibrant, and so full of the jubilant life that she deserved! I felt so proud of her!

After my work with clients, I often get messages, thanking me, saying their lives are much happier, and much fuller, but it’s not often I get to see the results in person. That was delightful!

Before I finish, I thought I would share this, too; when I asked the Lovely Woman if I could share her story, this was her response:

Of course you can use my story! You really helped me and if it helps others get the amazing help I got from you then all the better! xx

Isn’t that wonderful?!

If you would like to feel this good about who you are, do get in touch.

I love what I do!

Edit: another comment from the Lovely Woman that she’s just said I can add 🥰.

So thank you, thank you, thank you for taking me there!! I have never been so excited about any dress other than my wedding dress xx

#Confidence #SelfEsteem #ConfidenceCoaching #BoostingConfidence #ConfidentWomen #VivienOfHolloway #HappyClient #ConfidentWoman #BoostingWomensConfidence #ConfidentChildren #ConfidentTeenagers #ConfidenceCoach #AwardWinningCoach

May 30, 2022

Yesterday, I was lucky enough to go to see ABBA Voyage at the ABBA Arena in Stratford, London, UK.

I had bought the tickets off of a lovely lady I met in a group for people with disabilities; I was a little concerned about transferring them, and how easy things would be.

Well, I really couldn’t have asked for anything better!

The ticket transfer was simple and painless; TicketMaster were incredibly helpful. And they emailed to confirm everything the day before the show! I also loved that my plus one was referred to as my companion, and not my carer; yes, my partner does have to care for me sometimes but, going to an event where I could just refer to him as my companion, making it feel more like a date with him, rather than being with the person who has to help me up and down stairs (and many other things), was much more preferable.

I saw that I could get Blue Badge parking. I haven’t had my badge long, even though I have been disabled all of my life; I was reticent to apply for one, due to my own internalised ableism, and thinking I just wasn’t “disabled enough”, but, having had it for a few weeks now, oh my goodness!! I love it!

In non-disabled parking spaces, I would have to put one leg out of the passenger door at a time, twisting my hips and back, causing twinging and spasming, and more so if it was a cramped space; my left side is usually worse, so it would put extra pressure on my arm and shoulder as I maneuvered. Being able to park in disabled spots is so much better! I can swivel my whole body around a quarter turn left, putting both feet down at the same time, and use my right arm on the top of the door to pull myself to standing. It hurts so much less! And there’s space to wiggle in! There’s no trying to squeeze between cars, making sure my stick doesn’t touch anything but the floor. Brilliant!

Anyway, I booked the Blue Badge parking (which is free!) at the ABBA Arena. I was expecting to just be in a spot, a little closer to the door, and I would have been okay with that. But, oh no! This is an experience! We followed signs to the disabled parking area, and every staff member we passed on the way was lovely and helpful, giving us directions (they were very simple directions, which is good). We got to a shut gate; I held up my badge with a smile and we were greeted with bigger smiles and welcoming beckons to come on through.

As we were getting out of the car, a delightful young man came over to us, introduced himself (Wonderful WIlliam; I added the wonderful), and said he and his colleagues were there to help our day go smoothly. He escorted us the very short distance to the entrance; then got us through bag and ticket checks quickly, before showing us into the foyer. He pointed out where everything was, told us where to go to get to our seats, and said he would be around at the beginning of the show if there was anything we needed assistance with. We thanked him profusely and went to find food.

There were hardly any queues at the food stands (we went to a 3pm show, which might make a difference) and the lovely person behind the counter made sure I got my vegan hot dog the way I wanted it (no mustard).

We looked for somewhere to sit. This is one of the few issues we had but it has absolutely nothing to do with the venue or the organisers, but more to do with inconsiderate audience members. Although there was quite a bit of seating, nobody offered it to me, or anyone else that was using a walking stick; myself and another lady propped ourselves up against a wall (to be fair, it was a higher standard of wall).

When we had finished eating, we went to the shop. A very tall couple knocked into me a little, then stepped in front, jumping the queue; again, audience inconsideration, rather than anything at all to do with the event. Sometimes, I would say something but I was in such a good mood, and so excited to be there, I just did a simple gratitude mantra of being grateful I am me and not someone who would step on others – literally!- to get ahead.

I generally have a policy when using the toilet that, if the toilets are on the same floor, I will use the mainstream ones, as I can get in a cubicle with my stick; however, on doing that the first time, there was a long queue, so the other times I used a disabled loo. I would say that the sound of flushes from close by toilets seems to be louder in the disabled toilets, so something to be aware of if there are any sensory processing issues.

We went into the auditorium.

We couldn’t quite work out where our seats were so we went down a few shallow (so much better for me) steps to ask a member of staff where they were; he apologised for making me walk down steps! It was very kind of him but it was entirely our fault that we couldn’t work it out; he then escorted us back up the few steps and took us to our seats, reassuring me I wouldn’t have to walk up or down another step in the venue afterwards.

Our seats were fantastic! The accessibility seats are a single row around the stadium, with a low partition in front, so there was no need for anyone to walk in front of us; that’s always a relief, as, at events normally, I am constantly on edge, trying to ensure no-one gets close to my blistered, always painful, feet, or waiting for people to jostle into me.

The auditorium was beautiful! Looking around, it seemed that, no matter where you were sitting, you would get a fantastic view. Where the stage was, was a projection of a woodland scene, where movement occasionally happened. Even though the auditorium was full, the gentle sounds of the calming music and bird song covered the noise of people, without being intrusive.

On the way into the auditorium were signs asking us to not take photos or video the show; before the show started, a voice over the tannoy said they would like to keep elements of the show a secret, so reiterated to not take photos or film. Obviously, there were selfish idiots who did not care about that and continued to take photos and film. The person sat next to me, who was a carer for a young adult using a wheelchair, filmed, ignoring the person she was with, until a member of staff reminded her, very gently, that she wasn’t meant to be filming; it was only then that she started interacting with the young person she was with and joining in with the crowd as we sang and clapped.

And that’s enough negativity. Back to the amazing bits!

The lighting was incredible! I have never seen lighting used so effectively and so beautifully. It was very clever!

And, the show, well, WOW! Just WOW!!! I won’t tell you much, as it is a spectacle to enjoy first hand but I will say that I got a bit emotional at ‘Thank You for the Music” (like many people, music has been a large part of my life; if you’ve read my book, you’ll know how much), and, with the excitement of the event and the utter awesome-ness of it, the happy tears were hovering; A bit later, “Dancing Queen” came on; I will say that it’s not my favourite ABBA song to dance to (that, and others I love, had already been played), and that I had happily been chair dancing, but, caught up in the emotion, I turned to my partner, as he was already lifting my stick up off the floor, and I stood up and danced!! I was so caught up with the overwhelmingly joyful feeling throughout the auditorium that it felt almost spiritual! I will also add that the space enabled this; again, I didn’t have to worry about people getting too close, so I could just join in, without worry (I may have invaded my partner’s space a little, though, as I was so immersed.)

Then, at the end, ABBA, the real life, human, ABBA came on! (It’s opening weekend so I don’t think it will be an every show thing). My tears flowed! I just felt so happy! I turned to my partner and just said,

“It’s all so wonderfully emotional!”

Back in the foyer, we chatted to a few people, pretty much all just going, “Wasn’t that wonderful?!” And I got to have my photo taken with two gorgeous humans, who I thought looked utterly fabulous!

We headed back out to the car park and the car parking staff were all so lovely! I felt like I was a VIP (my actual initials! 🥰), Everyone was so smiley and attentive. And Wonderful William was there, chatting to everyone, being incredibly helpful, checking we had enjoyed the show.

He shook our hands, wished us a safe trip, and said he hoped to see us again soon; we said we very much hoped for the same.

Useful links

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#ABBA #ABBAVoyage #ABBAArena #TicketMaster #Accessibilty #DisabledAccess #Inclusion #BlueBadgeParking #TheBarriersWeFace #AbleismExists #DisaBodyPosi #BrokenButBeautiful #InvisibleDisabilities #DisabledDancer #InvisibleIllness #AllBodiesAreGoodBodies #AccessibleVenues #InclusiveEvents

Feb 9, 2022

Edit: for those who have read this before, I have added a few more.

World Book Day is coming up soon, in March 2024. I love seeing the photos people share of their children on their way to school; I don’t love the stress that parents and carers have, worrying about sourcing and paying for a costume. It’s a wonderful thing to celebrate, but we’re all busy and, well, sometimes inspiration takes its time to strike.

So, I thought I would give you some ideas, many of which can be done on a budget, with things you already have at home.

I love the Little People Big Dreams series of books. They are a fantastic introduction to people who have achieved incredible things. And some of them have surprisingly easy outfits to replicate; here are a few ideas:

David Bowie – a suit and shirt with face paint/make-up lightning flash over the right eye and cheek. A shiny/sparkly shirt would also work.

Harriet Tubman – a dark dress and a turban;

Audrey Hepburn – a black dress and a string of pearls; you could string together some form of white beans to make a necklace if you don’t happen to have pearls (I certainly don’t!);

Jane Goodall – jeans/trousers and jumper or shirt, and take their favourite primate cuddly toy;

David Attenborough – a jumper and trousers with some binoculars; you could glue two toilet roll centres together to make the binoculars; you could also add a favourite animal or bird toy.

Roald Dahl characters are a great choice, too.

For Charlie, a simple jumper or shirt (they can even be a bit tatty!), and have a pretend bar of chocolate, a drawn Wonka wrapper around a bit of cardboard.

Matilda could be a simple dress, a ribbon in the hair, and carrying a favourite book.

And, for a child that doesn’t like to dress up, you could have them carry a toy crocodile (or you could make one with a shoe box; a quick Google of crocodile shoe box will give you lots of suggestions) for The Enormous Crocodile.

Alice is simply a blue dress and an Alice band; you could include a toy cat to accompany them on a trip to Wonderland. Or dressing as Dinah, her cat, is another option; just add ears and whiskers.

There are so many wonderful cats in literature that you could probably find one to match any colour outfit.

Julia Donaldson’s books are also a brilliant source of inspiration. ForThe Scarecrow’s Wedding, your child could wear either dungarees and a shirt, or a floral dress; if you don’t have straw from your pet rabbit’s hutch, you could use some shredded yellow paper.

For The Smeds and the Smoos, your child could either wear all red or all blue and maybe even paint their face to match.

For the fabulous witch in Room on the Broom, include a favourite cuddly toy to accompany your little witch on their broom (pretend or otherwise).

For Zog, a large white shirt will be great for a doctor’s coat; if you have one, a toy dragon would be brilliant. Or have a look on Google for how to make a cardboard one.

Another favourite book is We’re Going on a Bear Hunt. Another simple outfit, too: trousers and jumpers or a dress, with a bear to hunt (and hide and run from!).

Then there’s the characters from the Harry Potter books: Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Draco. A grey and black school uniform, with a scar and glasses for Harry, a book for Hermione, a grubby nose for Ron, and a sneer for Draco. And a stick makes a great wand.

Joseph Coelho’s Luna wears a stripy blue top with a bright skirt or dress; you could stick blue stripes on a top, made from paper or material offcuts.

I love Ben Lerwill and Beatrice Blue’s ‘Harriet. The strongest girl in the world. She wears different clothes throughout the book, but she always has her hair in little buns at the top and, the most important thing, a badge that says: Just be you.

In ‘A Pack of your own’, there are dogs of all different breeds, colours and sizes, so you could just pick a dog to match your wardrobe.

And every animal, probably, has appeared in a book at some time, so, if your child wants to go as a giraffe (‘Giraffes Can’t Dance’), a frog (obviously in fairy tales, but my favourites are either ‘I am not a prince’, or ‘Frog in Love’), or a gecko, just Google the animal and say, “gecko in a children’s book”, which is what I will do, as one is not immediately coming to mind. And these can all be done with clothes of the same colour as the animal that you already have, with some paper, pen, or material offcuts to make the spots, stripes, and any other distinguishing feature.

In ‘I am every good thing‘, the lead wears his blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and a rucksack. That outfit could also work for ‘Me, My Dad, and the End of the Rainbow ‘, and add a rainbow to the t-shirt and you have ‘Glitter Boy’.

Dressing as a pirate would cover many characters, from ‘The Pirate Mums’ to ‘Treasure Island ‘. Trousers, a stripy top, and a bandana tied around the head. You could add some costume jewellery to show off your treasure.

And, well, I can’t do a blog about books without mentioning my own, can I?!

Your child could dress as Emily, in her blue t-shirt and leggings, pink tutu, and a cut-out pink heart on her t-shirt. They could carry a toy cat. Or, again, dress up as a cat.

Although, as the books are all about imagination, they could go as anything they like, ready for their own adventures. And, for the child that doesn’t like dressing up, there is one sentence from Who Am I?, “You are you, and I am me, and we’re wonderful just as we are”; support and encourage your child to believe how wonderful they are, just as they are.

Happy Being Who on Whoever You Want To Be on World Book Day!

#WorldBookDay #WorldBookDayOutfits #BudgetWorldBookDayOutfits #BudgetDressUp #Reception #KeyStageOne #KeyStageTwo #EarlyYearsTeacher #EYFSBooks #InclusiveBooks #WorldBookDay2026

Dec 8, 2021

I have started to notice a worrying trend.

Because of the work I do with children and young people, I am in a lot of parenting groups on social media. And, in the build up to Christmas, lots of parents, because they are loving, caring, parents who want the best for their child, are asking for recommendations on things to buy for their children.

And several of the requests have been, “Which fitness tracker watch shall I get for my child?” Some of the requests have been for children as young as five.

I want you, the reader, to think about your self esteem and confidence; I want you to think about your relationship with your body. I’ve worked with hundreds of women and, with very few exceptions, their issues with their bodies started in early childhood, following a throwaway comment from an adult, a comment about their body, about them needing to exercise more to get rid of their “chubby thighs”, and that stuck with them for life, leading to a lifetime of body hatred and limited beliefs of their worthiness.

By giving a child a fitness tracker, they are getting the message that their worth is tied up in numbers:

• How much they weigh;
• How much they move;
• How many calories they burn;
• How much fat they have;
• What clothes size they are.

You might think that this is extreme thinking. You might think, “Not my child”.

Through my Community Interest Company, I work with children as young as 4 (that’s when children start school in the UK) because it’s from the age of 3 that children start making judgements about bodies, theirs and others, and that the average 5 year old knows how to diet. My aim is to teach children to be happy with who they are, as they are, so they don’t spend a lifetime worrying that they don’t reach the numbers specified by some arbitrary document (I could wax on about government schemes wanting children to be weighed in schools but I won’t; I will, however, say, always look for where the money has come from to fund any study.). I have worked with women in their 70s who are still waiting to be that “ideal” weight before they feel they can start living the life they want, all because of a throwaway comment in their childhood, exacerbated by societal demands on how we should look.

And think about that! How we look. Do you want your child to feel that their worth is tied up in what they look like? In their weight? Or do you want them to grow up knowing that kind is the best thing you can be? That everyone has their own story. That not everyone has the ability to do everything they can. That weight isn’t just dependent on what you eat and the exercise you do; that it could depend on genetics, health, medication, financial status, and many more things. Do you want to teach your child that fat is bad? That it’s unhealthy? How will they judge others that live in different size bodies if the message they receive is “fat is bad”?

Also, think about the potential long term consequences. In the articles I have shared at the end of this blog, some say that some children lose interest after a few weeks and carry on as before; some lose interest in exercise completely; and some go on to develop an obsessive need to count everything they do around fitness and weight.

There’s also the competitive element. They may feel they have to do just as much as their friends, or more than; having a race around the park to see who is fastest is fun; having to obsessively reach a target can become damaging. And anxiety-inducing. After living in a global pandemic for the last 20+ months, where many of us have felt more anxious, and many people’s mental health, including children’s, is suffering, do you want to give them something that will make them more anxious?

Have you asked your child why they want one? Is it because their friends have one? In which case, instead of buying your child a fitness tracker, encourage them to design fun, movement activities they could all do together, without the need of tech monitoring it.

Is it because they are concerned about their size? Our bodies are meant to change shape throughout our lives; young children naturally grow up, then out, over and over, then puberty hits, changing their shape completely; then, through adulthood, our bodies change more, through pregnancy, age, lifestyle, and so on. If this is your child’s reason for wanting a tracker, to monitor their size, teach them instead that they are far more than just a body; that their body is just the vehicle to carry all their love, kindness, hopes, dreams and adventures in; that one size is not better than any other; that every single human has so much to offer, irrespective of what they look like.

Also, many parents moan about how tech dependent their children are, whether it’s phones, laptops, or gaming machines, yet a fitness tracker is another piece of tech to focus on. And, by using a tracker to monitor their levels of activity, their food intake, the child begins to doubt their own intuition on when they want to eat, when they want to move around. I’ve also included an article on other issues with tech in the few below.

Encourage your child to be active doing the fun things they want to do, not those they feel they have to do. If they enjoy an activity purely for the pleasure they get out of it, encourage them, support them, and that love of movement will continue.

Do things together, like walks in forests, looking for fairies or wildlife; go for bike rides and have occasional races between this bin and the next one; have races around the park; and, if you aren’t able to do this things for whatever reasons, you can still be part of it by being the referee, or the organiser, and definitely by being the cheering squad. Encourage children to play games like Tag, or do scavenger hunts; you can do silly team games, seeing who the fastest team to pass a ball between their knees is; or more structured games like football or rounders.

Encouraging a love of movement for the joy of it, rather than for the results of it, will be far more beneficial mentally and physically, for all of you.

https://www.pacey.org.uk/news-and-views/news/archive/2016-news/august-2016/children-as-young-as-3-unhappy-with-their-bodies/

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/fitness-tracker-mental-health_uk_5ad858e4e4b029ebe02133f0

https://onezero.medium.com/dont-buy-a-fitness-tracker-for-your-kid-b4ee429d359d

https://www.happyfamilies.com.au/articles/are-activity-trackers-good-for-children

https://theconversation.com/its-far-too-easy-for-abusers-to-exploit-smart-toys-and-trackers-161946

If you would like to know more about body positive parenting, I have a chapter about it in my book, La Vie Est Belle. Learning to live hopefully ever after. You can order it here.

#FitnessTrackers #FitnessTrackersOnChildren #SelfEsteemInChildren #ConfidenceInChildren #AnxietyInChildren #AnxiousChildren #Confidence #SelfEsteem #WorryingTrend #Anxiety #KindnessMatters #BeKind #Inclusive #Inclusion #Acceptance

Oct 13, 2021

Today, I got to do something that I really enjoyed. And that has had repercussions.

I usually say to people that I don’t work before 10am, sometimes later. I tell them it’s because it takes a while for me to go through the evolution of humans to be upright. I say that I like to wake up naturally so that I have slept off my medication.

But, I had been invited to an event in Winchester, starting at 9.30am, that I really wanted to go to.

It will be alright, I thought. Ever the optimist.

My alarm went off at 6.30am. I got up, came downstairs, washed my cats’ bowls and fed them. I made and ate my breakfast. Then I showered, dressed, and did my hair.

My partner drops me off not far from the first train station. I get out my floral walking stick. I cross the road; go down through the subway; walk up the shallow stairs; cross another road; buy my train ticket; then sit on a metal bench to wait for my first train. It’s 8.15am on a cold, October morning.

I get a seat near the door on the train and travel the three stops to the next station.

I get off the train and walk to the lift, as my next train is leaving from platform one and I’m on platform two. I walk across the corridor to the lift to take me to the next platform. Then, when I get there, the board says that the next train is actually leaving from platform two. Back to the lift, across the corridor, in the next lift, down to the platform.

Then the guard says that the next train to Winchester is leaving from platform two but the train that will get there first is leaving from platform one. Sigh.

Back to the lift. Back across the corridor. Back down the lift.

I stand for ten minutes; get on the train; I get a seat a few rows from the door.

I arrive at the station. Leave; walk down some steps; walk through a subway; then start walking, mostly downhill, to the venue. It’s a 15 minutes walk.

I get to the event and spend the next two hours standing and chatting to several incredible women. We talk, we laugh, we share passions; brilliant!

And my pain levels are increasing rapidly.

Once the event finishes, two hours later, I cross the street to one of my favourite cafes. I order a hot chocolate (a MUST in Chococo) and a toastie for an early lunch. Delicious.

As I sit there, my pain worsens. Do I get moving or do I rest a bit longer? My feet are blistered and throbbing; my hips are spasming; I feel like I have been slammed against a concrete wall.

I decide to order another hot chocolate. I walk to the counter. This time, I ask the server to carry my drink for me as my usual pain in my left arm has got worse and I feel wobbly on my feet.

I sit. Until I can feel myself seizing. Time to move.

I start the walk back.

I stop to chat with a homeless woman. She looks so cold. She tells me how she hardly slept the night before because she couldn’t get in the hostel. I give her a bit of money towards a room there for tonight. We chat some more. My pain is horrible but I saw several people ignore her before I reach her and I don’t want to add to that number. And, my pain may be horrible but at least I have a warm home to go to.

I say goodbye a little bit later and continue the walk to the station. I hope to catch a bus but there are none at stops when I get to them. And that relatively okay downhill walk to the event, well, it’s now uphill. And I feel every step intensely.

I get to the station. There are no seats available. My stick is covered in flowers so it’s easy to see. No-one offers me a seat.

I get on the train. There are no seats free. Again, no one offers me a seat. Two stops in, someone leaves and I get their seat.

I get back to Southampton train station. Back up the lift; across the corridor, down in another lift.

I’ve already decided that I can’t do the second train and the fifteen minutes walk back home so I leave the station, cross two roads, and get on a bus that’s, thankfully, waiting. The bus stops very near our house.

I walk the last short walk home and go indoors. I need to take my coat and boots off; I need to wee; I need to make a drink. But I hurt so much, and I don’t know what to do. So I cry. Then I do what I need to do, and I settle on the sofa.

And the pain gets worse. I’m at my limit for painkillers. I just have to sit with it.

Now, why have I shared this with you?

When I’m invited to things, people often say, “It’s easy to get to! It’s just a little way from the train station/bus stop!”

It’s never “just”, not for people like me. It’s walking, and stairs, and on and offs, and standing, and jostling. And pain.

Pain that is far worse than my normal everyday pain. It’s pain that will take me a few days to recover from.

All from “just” going to an event that’s “easily” accessible by public transport.

So, if you have a friend that has disabilities, that has a chronic condition, and you want them to go to things with you, and they’re, like me, unable to drive, please offer them lifts.

If you put on events that you want to be inclusive, offer to organise lifts for your guests.

And, if you want some guidance on making your friends feel more included, on making your events accessible to as many people as possible, ask for help; I offer consultations to help individuals and businesses to become more inclusive.

And please remember that, before our disabilities, before our conditions, we are human, with the same wants, needs, and desires to belong, to be included, to do fun things, to enjoy your company.

You can make that happen.

#Disabilities #Inclusion #Disabled #DIsabledBusinessOwner #DisabilityUnion #SouthWesternTrains #Chococo #TrainTravel #EB #EpidermolysisBullosa #ThoracicOutletSyndrome #Spasms #InclusiveBusiness #Acceptance #Adaptions

Mar 4, 2021

It’s here! Well, almost.

I have Europe’s “The Final Countdown” in my head! Only the der der der der bits, as I can’t remember many of the words, but it’s there, singing away happily.

But, why? I hear you ask (maybe).

My children’s book, “Where Are We Going?” has gone to print and it will be here, with me, in just a couple of weeks! Oh my! A book, that I have written, will be in my hands, very soon. It feels quite odd, surreal. This is something I have dreamed about for a long time but didn’t really think it would happen. It’s happened!!! I’m a published author!

The book is really important to me, and I hope that others will think it’s important to.

That sentence gives it a lot of gravitas. Some people may not see its importance, and that’s okay. But I believe there will be some who see why it’s important. Maybe you’ll be one of them.

Why is it important? It’s important because it’s a rarity.

At first glance, it’s a book about imagination. It’s about encouraging children, and their adults, to dream about wonderful places to go, people to see, and things to do. Imagination may not seem important but it really is.

I work with a lot of people, of all ages, who believe they can only do what their parents do; or believe that they can’t do anything because of restrictions that have been placed on them, by themselves or others. As the fabulous Frank-N-Furter sings in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, “Don’t Dream It, Be It”; if we can’t dream about wider horizons, how can we work towards achieving them? We need to be able to imagine things so that we can believe that there is a whole world open to us all.

I want people to know that dreams aren’t certainties. Just because someone wants to fly to the moon one day, it doesn’t mean they are going to do that; what it does mean is that they can dream of travelling, of exploring new realms; and, that, they can do. If someone dreams of cavorting with royalty, it doesn’t mean they will necessarily have regular afternoon tea dates with the monarchy, but it may mean they will love dancing among drag kings and queens and being open-minded to the amazing, diverse communities that surround us. By encouraging our imaginations we open ourselves up to more possibilities, to more adventures, to richer, fuller, lives.

Then there is Emily, the main character in the book. Emily is a beautiful child, who lives a life full of love, kindness, imagination and adventure. And Emily is a child with a visible difference. But that’s not all of who she is; just as we are all not just one thing.

And that was something else I wanted to address, ever so subtlety, with a hint of sledgehammer.

In children’s books, it’s very rare to see a child with a disability, and, in those stories, it’s usually about their disability. Those books are important, without doubt. However, I feel they also highlight the differences, rather than sharing how many incredible things we have in common.

In “Where Are We Going?”, Emily’s visible difference is, well, visible. But her difference is not a part of the story. As she and her adult go on their imaginary adventures, you can see her prosthetic limb, because it’s not something that she feels she has to hide, but it’s not part of the story.

Though, there is a little something about Emily’s disability in the book; at the back, there are some questions for teachers to plan a lesson round, or for parents/older readers to ask the children, and three of those are questions about her visible difference.

When you read anything about how authors write, they usually say how each of their characters has a backstory. Those back stories may never be known to anyone else but the author knows it. And, as the author, I know Emily’s.

As I’ve said already, Emily lives a life that is full of love and kindness, and, with that love and kindness, comes acceptance and belief. She hasn’t been told she can’t do things because she has a prosthetic leg; she has been told that some things might be a bit more difficult because of it but that should never stop her trying. She has been encouraged to believe in herself and to believe that she can do anything she sets her mind to. She has been taught that, sometimes, life is difficult, and that things are rarely perfect, but that she is absolutely wonderful, just as she is, just as others are absolutely wonderful, just as they are too.

Although this World Book Day is different to previous ones, it’s been lovely to see photos of children dressed as their favourite characters, and I can’t help but hope that, next year, and for years after, there will be children dressing as Emily.

My books are available on all good online book stores.

#Childrenwithdisabilities #Disability #Prostheticlimb

Nov 18, 2020

So… this is what it feels like.

I’m writing this in the early hours* of Wednesday, 18th November 2020. An hour ago, I was one age; now, I’m another.

Age is a difficult concept.

If we were to believe the marketing messages, men grow more distinguished, with their greying hair; women are meant to try to look younger; once we look a certain age, we’re told we’re past “it”, we’re targeted with anti-aging creams, hair dyes, plastic surgery. Unfortunately, some people feel that they need to start anti-aging treatments – Botox, liposuction, surgery – before they’re barely out of their teens.

Women are told we must look youthful to stay relevant. With our ever increasing numbers, we’re told we shouldn’t look “our age”.

I understand that. Despite the strong feminist in me, I want people to be surprised at my age, in a good way.

But then I know, far too well, that age is a privilege denied to too many. The friends I’ve loved and lost, children, teens, adults, would all have loved to live to my age, looking in a mirror with older eyes looking back. I know how close I have come to not being here on more than one occasion. I am grateful to be here, at this age, in my body, my face.

I worry about if people will treat me differently; will my younger friends, on realising I’m closer to their parents’ age than theirs, stop sharing with me, stop including me, because they wouldn’t include their parents or their parents’ friends? Then I remind myself that life, that relationships, move on. We’re all changing all of the time. And, realistically, why wouldn’t they still include me.

I look at my face in the mirror. Are there more lines creeping across? Is my skin tone changing? I can’t see any changes today, though I’m sure I would, had I not looked at my reflection in a year or two.

It’s amazing how much our faces show, and how much they hide. We talk about hiding behind a smile but there’s so much more to it than that. A person looking at me can no longer see the scars I have on my face, or the reasons why they are there; they can’t see how many tears I’ve cried; how many smiles; they can’t see the trauma and grief I have gone through; they can’t see the physical pain I live with, most of the time.

My skin still looks reasonably bouncy; is that due to my skincare? My diet? A lifetime of no smoking and minimal drinking? My skin condition? My genetics?

Then, I think about my grandparents, my parents, at this age and they all seemed older; is it because I was younger? Or that some of them were smokers and drinkers? Was it environmental? Lack of knowledge on skincare and nutrients? Or that they never saw it as a priority?

My hair. Thanks to my Mediterranean heritage, I started going grey at 12. I dyed my hair every month for decades. I hated it; it was messy, time-consuming, and I found it dull. Two years ago, I decided I had had enough, and the grey has been growing proudly; if older lionesses had manes, it would look like my hair. Grey hair was a trend for a while, but it was mostly young women; is it fashionable or age if it happens naturally?

My body. We talk about how our bodies creak more as we get older, that we can’t get on or off a seat without sound effects; I don’t feel my body creaking but I do, on occasion, have sound effects, but how much of that is due to my age, and how much to my disabilities? I think my body does remarkably well, considering everything it lives with, everything it’s gone through.

I still feel young, younger than I did twenty years ago. My life has more vibrancy, enthusiasm and happiness now than it did then. But, no matter how young I feel, my birth certificate, though the name is different, can never lie about the year I was born.

Again, I feel grateful to be here, doing what I do, aiming to make the world a better place, all things I didn’t, couldn’t, do when I was younger. I am grateful for reaching this age, surviving through so many obstacles, thriving as I chose to live.

But, this number, I struggle with it.

Two sayings come to mind:

We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

I’m still playing.

And,

Age is just the number of years the world has benefited from having you in it.

I believe the world has benefited because I’m still here.

So… this is what it feels like. This is what it feels like to be 50.

It’s actually quite fantastic.

*I frequently write at this time; I think my brain likes the quiet.